


Twin Flame

by LovelessWorld



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Idc if you read this as platonic or romantic just take it, i cry about these two every day, they're beautiful in every context
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26745079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LovelessWorld/pseuds/LovelessWorld
Summary: Congratulations, Katara. You are forgiven.
Relationships: Katara & Zuko (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 48





	1. Bleed

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so this was meant to just be me filling in the gaps of the Southern Raiders that (obviously imo) solidified Zuko and Katara's friendship but it ended up being that + Katara's healing process. I will try to update every day until I'm finished. Pls enjoy :)

The concept of forgiveness was a tricky one.  
  
Katara cut violently through the vegetables Aang had collected for them, vaguely registering how easy it really was to handle a knife. As she chopped, she thought about what the airbender and her brother had said about forgiving the man who killed her mother. She might have snorted if _he_ wasn't nearby, insisting on helping as some way to make it up to her.  
  
_Forgive him._ How heinous of Aang to make such a demand. How viscious, how absolutely malevolent of him to--  
  
"Ah!"  
  
Her eyes welled up with tears immediately when she felt the tip of the blade slice her finger, yanking her hand out of the way and jumping back as the knife landed in the grass with a _thump._ Zuko yelped, leaping towards her with a look of genuine concern is his eyes.  
  
Like she'd really acknowledge that.  
  
"What--what happened?" The boy seemed at a loss, frantic and fearful as if she might have just lost her mind. "What do you think?!" She snapped, holding her bleeding finger over the palm of her other hand, red liquid dripping onto her skin steadily. Without asking he took her hand, his touch gentle as he hissed in sympathetic pain.  
  
"It looks deep," he commented. Katara rolled her eyes. "But you can heal it, right?" 

After a moment of hesitation, she pulled her hand sharply from his grasp. "Yes."  
  
He nodded slowly, and she glared at him, or perhaps through him. She couldn't tell at that point.  
  
"Do you really think you can find the man who killed my mother?"  
  
The prince's eyes went wide for a moment before a serious expression overtook his features. "Absolutely."  
  
"Then we'll leave tonight, when the others are asleep." It was a statement, not a suggestion. He nodded in agreement, in _understanding._ Feeling validated for the first time in a long time, she pulled water from her pouch and did what she did best.  
  
She healed, and he watched her with a reverence that seemed to be reserved for her.


	2. Counting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't cry while writing this shut up :)

_"Then you didn't love her like I did."_  
  
 _"Katara!"_  
  
Tears pricked at Katara's eyes for the second time that day, her brother's cracking voice ringing in her ears. Aang couldn't understand, and it wasn't his fault; he had never even met his mother, his many losses were different in nature and could not be properly compared to hers. But Sokka could understand, and he chose not to. He chose to ignore the intimacy of a mother-daughter relationship, _chose_ to forget the guilt that his sister carried. After all, their mother died protecting _her._ Katara had to redeem herself, like Sokka had when their father was captured. She thought he of all people would understand!--  
  
"...Are you okay?"  
  
Katara choked. She was sniffling loudly, unable to keep her tears quiet anymore. "No," she declared matter-of-factly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve. "I'm not. Aang and Sokka don't understand. I expected that from Aang, but Sokka...." she trailed off, sniffling once more. She could feel Zuko's thoughtful gaze on her back. "I know," he said tentatively. "They might not get it, but--"  
  
"But you do?" She turned to him with harsh, red-rimmed eyes, sounding hostile without meaning to. She wasn't angry at him; for once she was angry at everything and everyone _but_ him. In truth, she was looking for reassurance. Anything to remind her that she had the right to anger, to grief, to make mistakes by those she loved. Anything to remind her that everything wasn't her fault and she didn't have to be perfect.  
  
"Yes. It...it might not count for anything, but I do."  
  
Katara turned away from him, focusing on the road ahead of her. "Thank you," she mumbled softly. She felt him observe her for a few more moments, his watchful eye devoid of hostility, of judgement, of everything her grief had ever been given. The hatred that had illuminated his aura when they met was gone, replaced by an unfamiliar warmth that she couldn't help but feel safe with now as the road in front of her blurred.  
  
"Maybe I should take over for a bit," Zuko suggested quietly. Katara nodded, blinking away more tears. "Maybe you should."  
  
She instructed Appa to land, and neither spoke a word as they switched places before taking off again. Katara laid on her back in Appa's saddle, watching the stars above them and absently pondering the scarred prince's words.  
  
 _"It might not count for anything, but I do."_  
  
Perhaps it counted for everything.


	3. Amends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyoooo sorry I didn't update for a couple of days, I wasn't feeling well (of course I start feeling ill when I have time off to write smh), but I'm better now and updates will resume!

A day passed with hardly any conversation. Katara found herself glancing at Zuko from time to time, pondering his change of heart. She'd only truly spoken to him once, in the crystal catacombs of Ba Sing Se, and she was beginning to wonder if perhaps the side of him she'd seen then was, in fact, the real Zuko. At the time she'd sensed nothing but sincerity, but then he had turned on her.  
  
Would he do it again?

Katara was typically a perceptive young woman, but this time she questioned. So what if she felt no malice from him anymore? He was unpredictable, strangely like her own element as opposed to his. She could never be sure whether to trust her instinct with him. But he hadn't lured Aang or Sokka into any traps, so why would he do it now, unless he hated her in particular? And if he did, what had she done to make him feel that way? Was it that she had beaten him at the North Pole?  
  
Not that she cared if he hated her. Not that the thought bothered her immensely, or that the possibility of him hating her even after she had reached out to him was hurtful. And it wasn't as if she had come to care for him that day in the catacombs, or as if she already felt hurt enough by this boy who wouldn't stop making it up to her. Not at all.  
  
The two of them sat in Appa's saddle, the beast having landed to sleep while they picked from what little food they had sneaked away from the others. He broke silence as though reading her mind.  
  
"I'm sorry about what happened in Ba Sing Se."  
  
"You've already apologized for that," Katara took a quick sip from the pouch of water they were sharing and the passed it to him. He accepted it without breaking eye contact. "I know, but I'm serious. I didn't just fail my uncle that day, I failed _you_ and I've felt awful about it ever since. I understand if you can't forgive me, but please let me teach Aang. After that, I won't bother you again."  
  
"...Is that what this is? You think if you help me, I'll be fine with you hanging around?" Her gaze was flat, unimpressed. He shriveled under it. "No," he mumbled, finally averting his eyes. "It's not." Katara raised an eyebrow, genuine curiosity getting the better of her. "No?"

"No," he sipped from their water supply and then passed it back to her again. "Look. Everything I told you about my mother that day is true, but since then I've gotten to face the man that took her from me. I think you need to face the man who took yours, too." Katara pulled back slightly. He couldn't be serious, could he? He really, truly just wanted to help her?  
  
"...But to be honest," Zuko's eyes were fixed on Appa's saddle below him, his index finger tracing a nonsensical pattern on the material. "I do hope you forgive me. Because I--"  
  
"You what?"

"I care about you," Zuko shifted in his seat. "What you think of me. A lot. You're a good person and I admire you. I realize that now." He lifted his gaze, a tiny smile etched into his features as golden eyes met blue. "You were kind to me when I didn't deserve it. Thank you."  
  
The sincerity in his voice drove Katara mad. She crossed her arms. "You're welcome," she broke eye contact with him, her cheeks growing warm under the skin. "And we'll see." Zuko straightened his back, head tilted slightly in inquiry. "We'll see?"  
  
"If I forgive you," she clarified. A mild smirk found its way to her lips. "I still haven't decided." He couldn't help the way his face lit up.  
  
"We ought to get going," Zuko cleared his throat, heat rising to his cheeks. _How embarrassing_. We don't want to waste too much time." Katara stretched her arms to the sky, groaning. "Actually," she said. "Lets stop for the night. We've been going nonstop for a day and we could both use some rest. So could Appa." He nodded his agreement. "Okay." Katara laid down with her back to him, an arm folded under her head for support. "Goodnight then," she yawned. Zuko stood and hopped off the saddle, still feeling as though he should give her space. "Goodnight, Katara."  
  
He settled on Appa's fur for the night, unable to hold back the giddy smile that wouldn't leave his visage.

_We'll see._


	4. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The concept of "love" + the title of this chapter is intended to be read as either platonic or romantic, whatever you want. I really love these two in every context, this fic is turning into a testamate to my personal interpretation of their characters and the roles they played in each others' healing processes and I'm enjoying writing their progression into friendship and exploring the nuances of both characters. I hope yall are enjoying it as well!
> 
> Also. Hold me back from writing an angsty au where Zuko doesn't betray Katara in the crystal catacombs and it ends super badly (as zuzu implies it may have in this chapter) hOLD ME BACK 🤡🤡🤡

_"Whale Tail Island, here we come."_  
  
It took but two awkward days to reach their first destination. Fourty-eight hours of cautious, spotty communication, mostly initiated by the firebender. Katara would respond accordingly and silence would fall again, not quite comfortable but not _uncomfortable_ either. Katara seemed content to stay in her thoughts, and Zuko to speak only when necessary. Angry as she may be, Katara had come to appreciate the space he gave her, reveling in the silence that encompassed them. It was relaxing, a nice break from mothering and fighting and repeating as needed.   
  
Zuko did not need to be taken care of--on the contrary, he was more of a caregiver himself. Each day Katara's malice waned, his presence deteriorating her emotional barricades in a way that even Aang hadn't managed. As if those imaginary walls around her heart were made of sturdy wax, and only his flames could melt them away. Or perhaps it was her own doing; perhaps she was unintentionally shedding layers and layers of an already cracked and ugly shell, and he was merely peeling those layers away, gently setting her free.  
  
"So, Zuko," Katara started. They were on their way to Whale Tail Island, Zuko directing Appa while Katara stole water from the clouds carelessly. "You've apologized, but you haven't told me _why_ you did what you did. Back in Ba Sing Se, I mean," she was beating around the bush, avoiding the word "betrayal" as if it would tip the careful balance they'd achieved. Zuko cleared his throat. "Oh. Thats, um," he scratched his head timidly. "Complicated?"  
  
"I'm listening."  
  
She would not take "no" for an answer, and he knew that; she deserved an explanation anyway and he was prepared to give one. Just maybe not this soon. "Well," he muttered, unsure where to start. "I guess you could say it was mostly because of my sister." Katara sneered. " _That_ piece of work? Don't tell me you wanted to revive your sibling bond or something." Zuko snorted. _"Sibling bond?_ We don't even _have_ one of those," he spoke casually, but Katara sensed grief behind his words. "No, I was just...afraid. I was afraid of rejection, of losing my family for good....of getting you guys hurt, too, I think. I mean, it's not like Azula would've spared you. She probably would've tried to murder you to spite me."

Katara's eyes widened a just slightly. Her chest felt tight and strangely warm. "...Seriously?" 

_He wanted to protect us?_

_To protect me?_

Zuko hummed. "Yeah, but I didn't want to admit that a few months ago," he confessed. "It took being around my father again to realize what I really wanted."  
  
"And what was it you really wanted?"  
  
Zuko didn't answer, instead shrugging his shoulders. "Validation. Peace. ...Love, maybe. Something like that."  
  
 _Love._ She wanted that, too.  
  
"But whatever it was, I wasn't getting it in the Fire Nation." They were both silent a moment, Zuko pondering his motives as Katara stared after him. She felt brave and terrified at the same time--brave, as though Zuko were holding her steady, and terrified as if he may let go at any moment. She feared being vulnerable more than anything, the raw openness that came with it, the exposure of the ugly, blotchy parts of her soul and the possibility of being loved all the same. The idea shook her to the core and yet, with courage that was perhaps borrowed, she stepped toward that comforting light at the end of her drab little tunnel. A tunnel she felt he might be waiting for her outside of. Just maybe.   
  
"Do you think you're getting it now? With us?"  
  
 _With me?_  
  
Zuko's ear turned red and he kept his back to the girl, the feeling of her gaze on him making the hairs on the back of his neck stand erect. Why did such a simple question rattle him so?  
  
"...Yeah."  
  
Katara smiled despite herself. "That's good," she spoke nonchalantly, but inside she felt an indescribable lightness. "Maybe that's why you're so much less jerky now." Zuko's head whipped around, his good eye nearly bulging from his face. "You think I'm less jerky now?" The words tumbled from his lips clumsily, and Katara couldn't fight the laugh that bubbled in her chest. "Considerably," she replied. "...So far, at least."  
  
He breathed a laugh. "Thanks."  
  
They spent the rest of the evening in decidedly comfortable silence, Katara wondering if it was just her imagination when Zuko seemed to glow against the orange-yellow backdrop of the setting sun.


	5. Light

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took a bit! This was a really difficult scene to write for me. I struggled to frame the scene because I wanted Katara's emotional release to be realistic and IC rather than having her get too vulnerable too fast. I hope I succeeded!

_Bloodbending._ A horrendous technique for sure, Katara abhorred it with every fiber of her being. Having both been a victim and a perpetrator of the vile act, she vowed the night Hama was hauled away that she would never, ever do it again. Not even to the Fire Nation siblings, pure evil as she thought them to be.   
  
But being bloodbent seemed like such a horrific way to go--a perfect punishment for a monster. She chastised herself for thinking such things, knowing there was no way she could justify it. And yet there she was, exerting her power over another in the most viscious way imaginable. She seized the killer's veins, forcing him to the ground before her. She intended to keep him there, under her thumb, and ask her companion to burn him. She wanted him to go just like her mother did--grovelling and set ablaze. And then she noticed his eyes.   
  
_His eyes._ There was light in them. The man she was looking for had soulless, void-like eyes.   
  
Katara dropped her hold on the apparent stranger.  
  
"It's not him."  
  


* * *

  
The full moon looked sinister as Katara watched it with tired eyes. She remembered Yue's softness, the gentle way she spoke, the grace in her walk. Ever since that night at the Spirit Oasis, Katara had observed the moon with a sort of reverence, admiration of that gentleness that she had witnessed in action. Admiration, because she was not like Yue at all. As Yue's kindness was unparalleled, so was Katara's rage; if the princess of the Northern Water Tribe was harmony then Katara was dissonance, rough and edgy and angry to the core.   
  
No, it would be an insult to compare her to Yue.   
  
Yet it seemed that the moon spirit glared down at her tonight, appalled at Katara's use of the power bestowed upon her. The Waterbender shrunk into herself with guilt. Zuko was out gathering firewood, having left per her request with a nod and a concerned look over his shoulder. She was alone now, in the dark where no one could see her. She was free to be broken now, unhinged and hysterical.   
  
She curled her arms around her head, taking a shuddering breath in before letting out a choked sob as tears dribbled down her cheeks. There was a certain comfort in crying alone, away from the prying eyes of friends, family, enemies. Alone in the shadows was the safest place to be vulnerable, to shed her skin and wallow if she had to. And right now, she definitely had to.   
  
"U-uh....you okay?"  
  
Katara cursed under her breath, wiping frantically at her cheeks as her teary gaze met his. Zuko's eyes seemed to glow in the dark, like little embers floating off a campfire. It suited him, she thought briefly. The light in him was bright and undeniable.  
  
 _What was she saying?_  
  
"Fine," Katara grumbled, her voice low and gravelly. She coughed and cleared her throat as Zuko lit a fire and sat quietly beside her, gold eyes burning now in the firelight. "Katara, I know you don't trust me, but you can talk to me. I'm a pretty good listener." His lips quirked slightly upward in what he hoped was a reassuring smile. Katara watched him with hesitancy. She couldn't bring herself to speak at that moment, unsure if he would judge her or, dare she say it, hate her. If Zuko hated her, then tensions would rise within the group, and who knew what would happen then?

Not to mention, if Zuko hated her, what would she do with how much she cared for the boy?

  
But then again, there _was_ light inside him. She saw it in Ba Sing Se, as dim as a withering candle in the dark, and she saw it now, brighter than the burning sun that threatened to expose her. _He_ threatened to expose her.   
  
Perhaps being exposed would not be so bad.  
  
"I..." she started with a weak voice, shuddering from a mixture of the cold and her own mounting fear. "I used bloodbending on that man. I promised I'd never, ever use it again but I lied. I lied to myself, I lied to Sokka and Aang..." She sighed deeply, hugging herself as she leaned against Appa's fluffy leg. "I felt so small the day my mother died, like it was all my fault. I just wanted him to feel that way, too, but...."  
  
"But it wasn't him."  
  
Katara nodded soberly. "But it wasn't him," she repeated. She sucked in another shaking breath. "And if Sokka and Aang find out....they'll never forgive me."

"They will," Zuko said with conviction. "...But if it makes you feel any better, I won't tell the others." She nodded and, unsure what exactly she was feeling, whispered her thanks. 

  
"The moon is full tonight," Zuko remarked awkwardly, gesturing loosely to the silvery orb in the sky. "You're most powerful on nights like this, right?" Katara hummed an affirmative, glancing at her companion with apparent caution. He winced. Had he said something wrong? Perhaps he shouldn't have brought up the moon; she could be thinking of the night they fought at the Spirit Oasis, the girl who became the source of that gentle light. Maybe he should apologize, or try to reassure--  
  
 _Eh?_  
  
Katara's head rested on Zuko's shoulder, her breathing steadying as she shut her heavy eyes. "Uh," Zuko stammered. "A-are you hungry? Because I can--" she cut him off with a sharp "shh," a hint of a smile gracing her tired features. _So awkward._ "Just stay," she whispered. "Please." Zuko's eyes remained fixed on the top of her head, his hand hovering over her temple as if to pet her hair before deciding against it. It was too intimate a gesture.  
  
"Okay."  
  
She drifted off shortly, sleeping soundly on the prince's shoulder as his sleepy gaze flicked from her to the fire and back again. She looked like a phantom bathed in a mixture of orange and silver light, the shadows of her eyelashes dancing like spiders' legs upon her delicate cheeks.   
  
To both their surprise, the two slept more peacefully that night than either had in a long time. 


End file.
